Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
