I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
