my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
