watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have feelings that need drinking.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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