I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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