dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
