Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Everything about him screamed your future.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
