Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
