Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
