Say something about gay babies.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
