drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
