Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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