quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
