We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
