Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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