do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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