I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
whose ass print is on the piano?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
