just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
