Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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