I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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