ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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