You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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