a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
