Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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