her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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