Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
