carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
