by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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