Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Let's get the cat blown out
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
