I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
