I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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