Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
