hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
