There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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