Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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