What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
