They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
