Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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