sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
