dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You've changed since you got that strap on
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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