She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
