we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
