boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
