i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
