I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
