I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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