Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
