What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
