I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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