I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
